Makings of a good parent...

My brother was in town this weekend and he always has a way of putting things in perspective. He doesn't have kids, no wife or girlfriend. He lives by the seat of his pants. He loves to travel and see and experience the world. He loves to meet new and exciting people. And of course he loves seeing all the different types of beautiful women worldwide. How would HE know about parenting? I guess sometimes someone who sees things from the outside can have a different perspective. I wouldn't think someone who hasn't had kids and knows what parenting is like to have a perspective I would like, but somehow he hit the nail on the head.

We talked about how we grew up. Things we liked and disliked about how our parents handled us. We both have two different views. Most of the stuff I don't even remember. I don't know whether that's from being pregnant and losing brain cells or actually being treated differently and I never saw things the way my brother did. Of course we want to change things that our parents did to us that we didn't like. But does that really stop the rotation of what makes a good parent? Maybe not. But it WILL stop some of the bad cycles. It's just hoping some other or new bad cycles don't pick up from there. That's where I come in.

I guess, I've picked up some of my parents 'bad' behaviors. As a parent we look at it that it's not 'bad' behavior so to speak...that our kids sometimes just get the better of us. But we do end up taking it out on them. And how can we not? They are good manipulators sometimes!! Playing mom and dad off each other... But if I can stop that bad behavior and change it with some new behavior, then my kids won't have that bad behavior to learn and pass on to their own kids. But what more am I doing that may be 'bad' for my kids. Do we ever really know? Where does it end? What may be considered bad for one person, may not be so bad for another.

That's another thing my brother brought up. What do others think? I told him how mothers can be RUTHLESS! Who's kid is doing what and how fast... It's nuts. And being a first time parent is so hard! Who's advice/opinions do you take? Our own parents? Friends? Family? It's really a vicious cycle, cuz there really is no right way to parent. And we shouldn't care what others think, because they are our children! My brother is not one to conform to societies ways of thinking. I am. I always have. I was the "do gooder" in my family. I did what my mom and dad wanted cuz that was the "right" way. But was it? I have ideas of what I want my kids to know and not know and how I want them to grow up. Will it change with time? Absolutely. I have my list of what I said I wouldn't do as a parent, and wouldn't ya know 4 yrs later, I'm doing half of them. Probably more then half, as I haven't wanted to go back and look at the list. LOL

My brother gave me a little more insight into myself and my parenting. But he gave me the one thing I was looking for most. Appreciation. To know that I'm ok, my kids are ok and my husband and I are good parents. We are doing the best we can in spite of any and all circumstances that come up. And that means the most of all.