Going to Seattle

Yup. You read right. I'm going to Seattle to do some major testing for my Cushings. AND I'm doing the IPSS surgery again. :( The doc in Seattle seems to think it may have been done wrong, so he wants to redo it. To have all the questions answered, I've decided to do it again. Except this time, I'll be awake for the whole procedure! Yikes!

Anyway, I'm flying out on Sunday, the 10th. I'll return late on the 16th. A whole week. Without my kids. 3000 miles away. Talk about depressing. Of either of my two, Emily is taking it the hardest. :( She wrote a story in Kid writing about me going away. I cried when I read it. To see how much she loves me and is going to miss me is overpowering. She's not usually like that and doesn't care if I walk out of the room or go places. But this has totally thrown her for a loop. This isn't going on a date with daddy, but going far away for a long period of time to her. And without her. My heart breaks. I wish there was someway to take her hugs with me. Or to show her I'll be ok and be home soon. I just hope this whole week goes very quickly. I'm going to miss my babies terribly!!! *cry*

But I know I have to do this for myself as well as them. I have to know if I have Cushings and what we can do about it. If this doctor can help me, that's what I need to do. *sigh* Thankfully my mother has volunteered to come be my support. Hopefully we don't get on each others nerves while we're there. But it's nice to have her holding my hand through all this. Feels like the old days...

So hubby and MIL will stay and watch the kiddos. I've made up lists and tried to get as much done as I can. I'll miss Valentines day, so I've had to get those ready for them as well. And Tuesday is their 100th school day celebration and hubby said he'd volunteer to help them out in each classroom! The kids are excited about that. Overall the kids will be busy during the week and hopefully won't have time to miss me much. Between school, gymnastics, karate and a bday party next Saturday, they'll be busy. It's just the anticipation of it all that's the hardest. I hate that. I'm going to be sooo emotional on Sunday. :(

The thought of flying on the plane and something happening like 9/11. The thought of going through these medical procedures and something happening... *sigh* This disease is killing my brain and sense of reality. Everything has such a feeling of impending doom. :( It scares me. Like Emily just got over having strep throat (it had been going around her class). Now they say the stomach bug is going around. I can only pray that my two don't get that - especially while I'm away. They need a mama's touch when they are sick. And I can't provide that 3000 miles away. :( Ugh. I just need to stop worrying. I'm just not sure how. *sigh* Anyway, I'll leave you with a picture taken on my birthday of me with my duo. My babies. My almost 6 yr olds... God I love them so much!!!